I woke up at 3am this morning. I just couldn’t sleep properly for some reason. Now I know why. I switched on my phone to find a Google Alert. It linked to an article on MailOnline by Richard Littlejohn. Can’t be good, I thought. I wasn’t far wrong. I clicked on it and a pic of me came up with a lot of hair. The rest you can see for yourself…

Most nights before I go to bed, I like to watch the paper review on Sky News.
On Wednesday it was the turn of former Home Secretary ‘Jackboots’ Jacqui Smith and the LBC radio presenter Iain Dale.
I had to do a double-take. They must have been separated at birth. If Dale had a Smith-style syrup, they’d be taken for identical twins.

Thank Christ I don’t to paper review with Paul Nuttall. As you can imagine, the sleep didn’t improve.

When I got up later I texted Jacqui. She hadn’t seen it.

I have to admit, though, I’d kill for her hair.