What’s in a name? Who do we all have to have a label? We’re all individuals, aren’t we? I’ve just been reading about the new acronym that is supposed to replace LGBT. Apparently we’re now all supposed to say LGBTIQ, or even – wait for it – LGBTIQQAA. Nope, me neither.

For the uninitiated, the IQ stands for ‘Intersex’ and ‘Queer’. The QAA then stands for ‘Questioning’, ‘Asexual’ and ‘Allies’. You couldn’t really make it up.

It’s interesting to look at the history of ‘gay’ terminology. The word ‘homosexual’ tended to be used as a catch all and it wasn’t until the 1970s that ‘gay’ became the preferred self-describing word by gay men. Towards the end of the decade the phrase ‘gay and lesbian’ entered common parlance. It wasn’t until 1988 that LGBT started being used, despite gay and lesbian activists remaining suspicious of bisexuals on the basis that they were really gay people who were too afraid to admit it. Hmmm. It’s only in recent times that these longer acronyms have started to be used. The Green Party Manifesto’s chapter on equality issues used the LGBTIQ term, provoking much discussion about its appropriateness. The political editor of the People, Nigel Nelson, incurred the wrath of some by describing the acronym as a ‘Countdown Counundrum’. He added: “Queers may hope to rebrand this word as an inoffensive umbrella term… [but] as a middle-aged, middle class, heterosexual white man, I could no more bring myself to say what sounds offensive than call black people the N word”. Well I think he’s got a very valid point. I wince every time I hear a black man or woman use the N word, and I don’t like hearing the Q word either. To me it’s a word with hugely pejorative connotations and I do not understand the desire of anyone to ‘reclaim’ it. Why? What would be the point? Leave it for the bigots.

Still, at least none of these are as bad the term coined by the Wesleyan University. They have invented ‘LGBTTQQFAGPBDSM’ which stands for “lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, transsexual, queer, questioning, flexual, asexual, gender-fuck, polyamorous, bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism”. Jesus wept. And what the chuffing hell is a ‘flexual’?

We live in an era where a slight slip of the tongue can cause a massive Twitter storm. Woe betide any radio presenter who doesn’t use the B &T in LGBT. Woe betide the TV interviewer who uses the generic ‘black’ for any person who isn’t white. No, it’s de rigeur to use the phrase Black & Minority Ethnic. Use anything else and you’re a racist. Twitter says so, so it must be true.

I studied Linguistics at university. Well, truth be told, I went one better and studied German linguistics. It formed a third of my degree. I still find the development of language fascinating. Why is it, for instance that a word used very commonly in one decade becomes a complete no-no a decade later?

Political correctness forms at least part of the answer. To her dying day my mother would always refer to BME people as ‘coloured’. She wasn’t in the least bit racist but for her it was the natural word. It was a benign word she grew up with. But at some point this word was ruled as being almost as bad as the ‘N’ word. It’s strange, because in America it doesn’t quite have the same connotations as here. I remember one occasion when she said it – totally innocently – and I hissed “Mum! You can’t say that!” She never really did understand, bless her.

I’ve never described myself as a gay man. I am a man who happens to be gay. My sexuality is part of who I am but it doesn’t define me. At least not in my eyes. When I was a political candidate I was always described as “openly gay”. It really used to annoy me, especially when it was written by people who ought to know better. I’m also openly right handed. Or openly a West Ham supporter. Or openly a radio presenter. Or openly right wing. All these things form part of who I am, but I hate being labelled. I am what I am.

This article first appeared in the August edition of ATTITUDE MAGAZINE