A Special Girl has Special Needs and Special Teachers
Peter Watt explains how his daughter's school has adapted to her special needs. Grab a Kleenex. You'll need it.
25 Feb 2012, 18:45
Special Needs
In November of last year, on this blog, I wrote about the stress that we as parents had felt as we struggled over choosing what the best school was for our five year old daughter Ruby. Ruby is one of six and she has what is commonly known as special needs. As I wrote in November:
‘Our Ruby is 5 years old and is very special. She was born with problems with her hearing, her eyesight and has some mild learning delay. She has some problems with her speech and her balance and she finds socialising with other children a bit tricky. But most of all she is loving, generous and fiercely protective of her little sister.’
She had just started at a well-respected local mainstream school, and we were worrying whether we had done the right thing or should she have gone to a special school. Would she get the right support? Would she be accepted? Would she cope? And how much of this was in fact our problem and not hers? But at the time she was also struggling herself, was very tired and was struggling with the crowds, a problem for her generally. But she was also coming home proud of her achievements and telling stories about her days and her friends.
Well that was all back in October. But this evening she has had a friend over after school for tea. And a couple of weeks ago she had another friend over. And it got me thinking about what she has achieved in the few short months since she started school.
The first thing to say is that her school is amazing. Well, to be more accurate the staff are amazing. Their attitude is positive and warm and they seem to want to go the extra mile for Ruby. An example is that Ruby needs very clear routines and when things aren’t in the right order or place, she can get worried or upset. But she also gets easily distracted and needs constant supervision to keep her on track. So the start of school was always a problem because she needed to be met at the gate by a teacher - but it wasn’t always the same one. It meant that every day she was distressed and had to be pretty much dragged into school. So the staff produced a laminated little book with pictures in that indicated on any one day which member of staff would be meeting her. We were able to show the picture to her before school so that she knew what to expect and the problem was solved.
It is this ‘can do’ attitude that has made all the difference. I guess Ruby isn’t the easiest child in the class! But you wouldn’t know it from the way that she is supported. A highlight was the Christmas production when Ruby was one of a group of stars, as in she was dressed in a star costume. And she was on the stage without guidance, stood for the duration of their performance, knew most of the words and actions and maintained attention throughout. I cried, it was beautiful and I was enormously proud. And she has begun to write her name, knows some of her numbers and can recognise most letters. Bizarrely she also likes doing homework; I know that this won’t last.
It hasn’t all been good. Some days she has been incredibly tired and has been begging for bed by 5.30 after a day at school. On other days her behaviour has been a little challenging even before she gets her uniform on. School staff report experiencing the odd similar flash of a developing defiance. We suspect that there will be more of this to come! But overall she is doing really well and seems to be coping with the challenges of school.
In fact, one of the best things has been the way that little by little she is learning to play with other children. She has always been friendly but she struggles with taking turns for instance, she just doesn’t seem to know how to. But on the other hand she is also generous and shares her sweets, toys and affection with everyone. She hates seeing someone without if she feels that they should have. It is a lovely side to her but can come as a bit of a shock if you weren’t expecting to receive whatever she wants to share. But as the weeks go by she is learning how to play with others. It isn’t a perfected skill yet; but is definitely work in progress. And the other children like Ruby. She is popular and she likes this. Yesterday at the school gates, there was another girl who only started a few weeks ago and was still nervous. She was with her Dad and was upset about going into school. Ruby noticed, walked over to her, took her hand and led her through the gate. It was a very special moment because on most days, Ruby still has to be prised off her mum even when she knows which member of staff is going to be supporting her. What a turn-around!
She is still struggling to meet her age appropriate milestones, her concentration is sometimes a bit suspect and she still needs one-one support throughout the day. Most days are good but there is still the odd bad day. But generally she loves school and is making real progress. It’s fantastic and has been great to see. Inevitably we will need to keep a close eye over the duration of her educational career. I can’t quite get my head around secondary schools yet – but as she is only five I will try not to worry just yet.
But the waking at night and worrying about her future hasn’t stopped. The constant fear of her vulnerability never leaves. It is the same for all of your Kids of course; it’s just if they are special you worry that bit more.
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