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The Ed Balls Political Death Machine

Jerry Hayes warns the Conservatives not to underestimate the ruthlessness of the Shadow Chancellor.

By Jerry Hayes

14 Jan 2012, 13:59

As Labour policies are being shredded quicker than News International emails, the question that quivers upon the Prosecco moistened lips of Guardianistas at of Polly Toynbee’s black pudding and ciabatta fundraisers for The Guatamalian Socialist women’s Collective of Sex Workers, must be, “What does Ed Balls actually stand for?” This is not as tricky as it might at first seem. Some say he is an unreconstructed Keynsian. Others, nothing more than a Milton Keynesian, namely a ghastly, confusing, blot on the landscape that nobody in their right mind would want to go.

But at first blush, his bonfire of the vanities of an economic policy which had zero credibility might be compared to the Pope converting to Buddism, Jeremy Clarkson becoming a sentient member of the human race and Louise Mensch growing a penis. Yet there is method and purpose in what seems to be Ballsian madness. He has the gift of being able to sniff out power, position and patronage with the skill of an experienced truffle pig. He knows what he wants and will stop at nothing to get it. He was never New Labour, but helped Brown to reconstruct the Treasury into a parallel universe and finally a Death Star that stalled and eventually crushed it. He spent all of his young political life trashing the economic strategy of John Major, only to jump into the Ken Clarke spending plan lifeboat and have a passionate affair with Prudence. But after a couple of years she was cast back into the sea to win votes, bribe the unions, keep the fat cats and banksters  filled with cream, some of which they gratefully diverted to fund Labour’s re-elections.

So the answer to the question, “what does Ed Balls actually stand for?” is very simple. He is a ruthless, calculating and very effective political killing machine, who is quite prepared to endure humiliation and abuse in the short term to achieve his long term goals. And although nobody would dare admit it, this is preparation for the 2020 election.

The Coalition should be wary of wetting themselves in delight, because in the long term he has freed Ed Miliband from the shackles of policies unworthy of belief, kicked the quarrelsome left into touch and distanced themselves from the unions who are incandescent with rage and incredulity. It has deftly pulled the carpet of industrial action from under their feet.

At the moment this is just Westminster wind and piss. The public just want to get on with their lives, struggle to keep their jobs, put food on the table and keep their heads above the torrent of uncertainty. What Balls has done is reinvent the trusty political lifebelt of, “the public don’t like my principles, I had better find some new ones.” It can be very effective.

So whilst we will enjoy Ball’s abject humiliation and discomfort, don’t underestimate him and ignore the silly resignation chatter. He may have given his party (although perhaps not Milband) the first threads of a of a life rope.  Better, he has given them a rather smudged but cleaner canvas on which to paint. It might even have given Miliband a voice.

This week the left demanded that Labour smite the Blairite Zombies. Instead Miliband has decided to give them a hug.