What On Earth Does Shane Warne Think He's Doing?

Duncan Barkes reckons Shane Warne's antics aren't doing blokes any favours.

5 Aug 2011, 18:33

384_large Shane Warne: Before & After (photo Sky News)
I can understand actors moisturising and plucking and we all know that David Beckham has set the bar very high when it comes to footballers dabbling in metrosexuality. But cricketers? As more and more pictures of Shane |Warne hit the papers you have to wonder if we are finally seeing the death of the real man.

It has been a staggering transition. Since hooking up with Liz Hurley the once chain smoking and hard drinking bloke from Down Under has become a shadow of his former self.

Gone are the ever present fag, bottle of ale, bushy eyebrows and unkempt hair. He now resembles a mannequin that would not look out of place in the window of your local House of Fraser. On top of this, close inspection of his face reveals few lines - instead he resembles someone who has spent too long in front of the fire.  

Blokes are under attack and it is getting worse. Pick up any glossy magazine and you will see a suntanned chap, all gazelle like, perfectly manicured and coiffured with no wrinkles. It is a ghastly sight and it puts pressure on us men to conform to similar standards.

We all know that a woman can leave a bloke spellbound. As a longtime fan of Hurley I can easily understand why Warne was charmed and cajoled into becoming a living and breathing example of extreme metrosexuality.

Giving up the smokes and booze and turning to a life of moisturiser, sit ups and organic goji-berry diet shakes must have its benefits if you get to jump in the sack with Hurley every night. But this is Shane Warne we are talking about, a cricket legend, one of the best bowlers on the planet, a giant amongst men. It's that sense of betrayal you feel that one of your own has let you down. It is almost like he has crossed to the dark side. He is no longer a real man.

Chaps who are appalled by Warne's behaviour should take comfort in a recent article I read about Sir Ian Botham and how he used to prepare for a match. The single handed Ashes winner described how he would get to the ground in his own time, have a pork pie and a cigar, sit in the bath with the Sporting Life and have a hot coffee - all of this before demolishing the Aussies. This is what being a real bloke is all about.

We may have lost Warne but as long as we have stories like this about Beefy Botham, the flame of 'real men' still burns brightly. Long may it continue.
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Oh Duncan...the nose. The nose, Duncan! Tony

05/08/2011 19:08
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He's gone from being a tasty looking dude into a waxwork dummy. I, personally swooned at his downright blokeyness, as well as his spin bowling capabilities.
Is this really what us birds want? I hope not...! I'm not saying you lads shouldn't make a little effort but when you have more lotions and potions on the bathroom shelf, it's vanity taken a step too far.

05/08/2011 19:52

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Duncan Barkes

Duncan Barkes is a radio broadcaster.

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