I’ve never been to South Africa, which is probably just as well. I’d spend the whole time drooling. You see, I am that very unusual example of someone who finds South African accents rather sexy. Erotic even. That probably marks me down as some kind of linguistic pervert, but I could listen to that clipped lilt 24 hours a day. That, however, is not a commonly held opinion. I tweeted earlier: “Am I alone in finding South African accents sexy?” I wasn’t alone, but those of us who do indeed hold that view could probably fit inside a telephone box. Lee Mack clearly wouldn’t be with us.

I also love South African music – Mango Groove, Juluka, Johnny Clegg & Savuka, Ladysmith Black Mambazo. I could go on.

In this country we tend to think of white South Africans as rather boorish (geddit?), with no sense of humour and not much of a dress sense when abroad. And a lot of people still assume that anyone who is white and South African is probably still a bit of racist. The image of black South Africans could do with a bit of improvement in this country, due in part to the Aids denying Thabo Mbeki and the polygamous (and other) antics of their current President Zuma. It’s only the besainted Nelson Mandela who provokes unanimous sighs of admiration, and quite right too. South Africa has it in itself to be a major power in the world. It is a country of huge natural resources and talent. It’s also a country I really do want to visit, and not just to drool over the accents!

This is a Spitting Image sketch, which I suspect is not very popular in Cape Town. It’s a song called ‘Have You Ever Met a Nice South African?’

And finally, here’s one of my favourite comeddy sketch characters of all time from the Fast Show.