Back in the hey-day of music radio, when men were men and children should have been very afraid, I’m told that virtually every day radio presenters would be sent loads of freebies. Free clothes, free food, free whatever. Those days are long gone, and rightly so. But we presenters do still get sent the odd thing. It’s usually food. A couple of weeks ago I got sent a nice mini hamper from Regents Park Open Air theatre.I don’t quite know what they hoped to achieve by it though. Did they really think it would get them a mention on air? Some of us are not so easily bought. I have a policy with these things. I never take them home. I open them and leave them for LBC producers (mainly Carl McQueen) to gannet themselves on. Cos I’m thoughtful like that.

But yesterday, I saw in the Global Radio reception a huge box, measuring about 3×3×3 feet addressed to me from something called a Foodie Festival. Goody, goody I thought. More food for Carl. Anyway, someone had brought it up to LBC when I came off air last night so I decided to open it. Inside this huge box was a white balloon, a bar of chocolate and a small tin of tea. To say it was underwhelming would be an understatement. Carl will now have to starve.

What did the Foodie Festival PR geniuses hope to achieve by leading me to think it was going to be a box of foodie delight? All they achieved was to instil a sense of complete letdown and to encourage me to write a snide blogpost.

What will really be interesting is to find out what happens tomorrow morning when Ken Livingstone and David Mellor fight like ferrets over who is to have the chocolate and who is left with the tea. Probably best if Carl keeps the box for himself. Which he probably would have anyway…