Yesterday I took delivery of my new car, which I have been waiting nearly a year for. Boy was it worth the wait. I make no apology for loving cars. And I absolutely adore this one. If you could drive a multiple orgasm, you'd be steering an Audi S5. Perhaps driving it on its first day to Upton Park was not the ideal first outing for it, but it survived to tell the tale. I did think about not blogging this momentous event, as I know what abuse I am going to get in the comments, but seeing as though this is a diary it would be cheating not to. So let's get it out the way...
* How dare you buy a car which is a one man global warming machine? Easy. I wouldn't be seen dead in a Prius and it's my choice.
* You're going through a mid life crisis. Yep. Since I was 19.
* You're just showing off. Yep. Well wouldn't you?
* It's just a penis extension. You should see the gear stick.
There, I think that just about covers it. So go on, do your worst. [battens down hatch and goes to bed].
PS Am I the only one who gets emotional at seeing an old car go? I had my previous Audi for five years and loved it. Leaving it at the dealership seemed wrong. Almost cruel. Why did my eyes get a bit moist when I left it? Silly old Hector.