Here's a somewhat bizarre interview I did with The Brexit Comic for their latest issue. Er, enjoy...


Will we be leaving the EU this year?

If I knew the answer to that question, I could make a lot of money. My gut feeling is that the government is going to have to invoke Article 50, but my suspicion is that the EU will only agree to a three month extension to July 1. So from my point of view it will mean delayed gratification, but better late than never, I suppose.

Do you have a favourite Remain Guest and a favourite Leave Guest?

It’s much more fun to ask who are my least favourites, but let’s start with the favourites. I’d say on the remain side Nina Schick, Matt Kelly from the New European and Alastair Campbell. Nina is the sensible face of Remain, Matt is an enthusiast while Alastair is one of those people who suffer from Brexit Derangement Syndrome. And before anyone starts, he admits it himself. On the Brexit side, I’d nominate Henry Newman from Open Europe, Kate Andrews from the IEA and Suzanne Evans, late of UKIP. My least favourites are the increasingly unhinged Professor A C Grayling and rent-a-gob Tory MP Andrew Bridgen.

If Brexit wasn't the big issue - what would be?

Whether I should have shaved my beard of or not. Or alternatively, I think the imbalance in our economy and how it’s not working for most people would be the big issue of the day. John McDonnell identified this last year. The trouble is, he may have diagnosed the problem but hi solutions are barking mad. 

Are you only doing this interview to give better answers that James O'Brien did in issue 5?

Obvs. Mainly because I’m that shallow. Have I succeeded? You decide!

How would you go about healing the divide Brexit has caused?

The divide was already there but not really spoken about. I could resort to an old cliché, like ‘time is a great healer’, but I won’t. I think those in the public eye need to take more responsibility for what they say and how they say it – me included. The temperature needs to be dialled down a bit, both in the mainstream media and on social media. In addition, any future government has got to try to govern for all the people, not just narrow segments of the electorate.

If you could be depicted as a comic book character - who would it be and why?

I asked Sophie, my LBC producer, to help me answer this question. She rather uncharitably suggested Dennis the Menace, for reasons only she can explain. Personally, I’d choose Mutley, because sometimes I laugh like him and if I were reincarnated I’d like to come back as a dog. Although preferably one that doesn’t belong to Dick Dastardly.