Have you noticed how virtually none of our highly paid political columnists or pundits have been brave enough to make any predictions about this election? Cowards, the lot of them. It's easy to understand why, because frankly no one knows what will happen over the next 36 hours. But those of us who make at least part of our living by punditry owe it to our readers to share our views. Even if it proves dreadfully embarrassing afterwards. Here goes...

1. I stick by my January prediction of a Tory majority of 12.
2. Turnout will be 68-70%
3. The LibDems will get around 80 seats.
4. Vote share will be C 38, Lab 28, Lib 26
5. BBC/ITN/Sky Exit poll will predict a hung parliament - and be proved wrong.
6. John Bercow will win by a mile.
7. The SNP will get only 7 seats.
8. Labour chief whip Nick Brown is defeated by the LibDems.
9. John Denham loses his Southampton seat.
10. Jon Cruddas will be ousted in Dagenham & Rainham by Simon Jones.
11. Ed Balls will hang on.
12. John Reid will be the first senior Labour figure to turn on Gordon Brown - guess around 3am.
13. The Conservatives will win more than a dozen seats in Wales.
14. Esther Rantzen will be humiliated in Luton South.
15. Oliver Letwin will squeak through and hang on to his seat.
16. David Cameron will claim victory between 7 and 8am.
17. The Conservatives will win between 1 and 4 seats in Scotland.
18. Gordon Brown will resign as Labour leader by the end of Friday.
19. Nick Clegg will declare at between 3am and 4am that the results so far prove the need for electoral reform.
20. David Cameron will announce his first cabinet appointments on Friday evening and spring at least one major surprise.

If I get half of these right, I'll be surprised...

UPDATE: I think I got 7 right!