1. Just as in 2010 there will be queues outside polling stations at 10pm and people won’t be allowed to vote. Politicians will declare their outrage and say that something must be done to prevent it happening again. Just like 2010.

  2. There will be reports of voter intimidation in Tower Hamlets. It wouldn’t be an election otherwise.

  3. The Exit Pollsters will be shitting themselves.

  4. The Press Association’s prediction of count declaration times will bear little resemblance to reality.

  5. Broadcasters will wish they hadn’t booked any politicians as guests as they will just trot out the usual pre-prepared soundbites and refuse to engage in coalition speculation.

  6. Jeremy Paxman and David Mitchell won’t hit it off. At all.

  7. As election night progresses, a few red lines start shattering.

  8. Three or four senior Labour politicians start muttering nice things under their breath about the SNP as the night progresses. Andy Burnham will be one of them.

  9. Boris Johnson remains silent until the lie of the land becomes clear, but several of his supporters begin subtly advancing his case on the media as breakfast approaches.

  10. In my seat by seat predictions I’ve predicted the Conservatives will get 276 seats. My gut feeling is that is on the low side, but 290 is their maximum reach.

  11. For Labour, I’ve predicted 267. I think 275 is their maximum.

  12. I’ve predicted the LibDems will get 23 seats. If they get over 30 they will be euphoric. Sort of.

  13. I’ve predicted Nigel Farage will win his seat and be one of 5 UKIP MPs. If he doesn’t win, he will resign the UKIP leadership either in his count concession or a few hours later. I predict one of UKIP’s winners will be a complete surprise.

  14. The journalist who gets any words out of David Miliband during the night will deserve an award of some kind.

  15. The two biggest name casualties will be both be Alexanders – Danny and Wee Dougie.

  16. Andrew Neil will be the TV star of election night.

  17. The BBC will come to regret their new live position opposite the House of Commons as their daytime coverage is ruined by a man shouting “All Politicians Are Liars”.

  18. Len McCluskie, Paul Kenny and other trade union leaders take up semi-permanent residence on College Green opposite Parliament to dole out some “helpful” advice to Ed Miliband.

  19. Seconds out, Round Two for Alastair Campbell and Adam Boulton.

  20. The broadcaster tents and studios on College Green will still be there two weeks later.

I will be presenting LBC’s election night programme with Shelagh Fogarty from 9.55pm until 5am when Nick Ferrari takes over. If you’re going to a count do keep us up to date with any news by emailing iain@lbc.co.uk, texting 84850 or tweeting @iaindale.