10. You get a letter from Number Ten inviting you to accept a KCMG
9. You start reading the Court & Social page of The Times.
8. You get invited to speak at the Reform Club.
7. You eat Welsh Rarebit after dessert.
6. You believe William Rees-Mogg to have been the world's greatest columnist.
5. You regard Nicholas Soames as a dangerous radical.
4. You don't remember the last time you had lunch without a fish course.
3. Your socks go up to your knees.
2. You are a member of more than one 'club'.
1. Your name is Alan Yentob.